We always have people we get along with and some that we can’t stand. We can easily name one or two irritating people in a room.
More often than not, we give in and flag them useless -- people who don’t have to be part of our lives or our attention. Well, that’s fine. I mean we have all the right to pick the people who stay in our lives, right?
What if we need to work with them to reach our goals? What if they happen to be a direct family? Are we still able to eradicate them in our lives?
I’m also afraid to say that any person who comes into our lives always have something to offer – and we need them, whatever that is they‘re offering.
“People are either blessings or lessons”
Everyone heard stories of enemies from before now becoming allies. And perhaps you’ve heard about the saying, “Never burn bridges? “
There’s a truth to them because we never know how the person can affect our lives.
So why shut them down in the first instance? Why let an opportunity of great camaraderie easily slip away?
What if you develop a skill that helps you cope with the worst kind of people?
Would that make the world a better place? Would that make you more friends? Would that make work or life a lot easier?
I think it does.
Therefore, I’d like to share this very simple technique that most of the time helped me figure out the way people think and perform. I strongly believe that this technique is perfect in avoiding conflicts and bridging the gaps between one another.
The technique I’m referring here is:
Handling the Four Types of Personalities
Yes! There are primarily four types of personalities and for each person, one personality is dominant. Learning about this gives you a good chance on understanding others.
The four types of personalities are controller, analyst, promoter, and supporter.
You probably heard of this already. I’ve encountered this myself way back in college. However, I haven’t realised the value of it not until I’ve discovered it in a seminar. I’d definitely want to share this enlightenment to you.
But to do that, I will give you a brief definition and example for each type.
~They’re the formal and dominant type. They like challenges, competition, position, and winning. These are the boss, the ones who love to debate, and voice their opinion. They dislike laziness, procrastination, and tardiness.
e.g: Boss, Dictators
~They’re the formal “flow with” people who like neatness, planning, structure, and details. Analysts dislike being pushed, restricted, negativity, and wasting time.
e.g: Strategist, Planners
~These are the party guys who are usually creative, outgoing, innovative, dynamic, and fun. They find it hard to deal with rules and hates to feel being helpless.
e.g: The “Idea guy,” life of the party
~These are the ones who are not so formal and very flow-with type of personality. They like affection, peace, and approval. They never like conflicts, intimidation, and pressure.
e.g: Family guy, emotional
How This Mix Up
It is believed that the world is composed equally of all these personality types. This also means that there’s nothing wrong if you fall into a certain type. Each has its benefits and weaknesses.
In a usual scenario, controllers would likely conflict with a supporter compared to another controller or analyst. While analyst may find their ideas different with a promoter who’s outgoing and seems to be out of focus most of the time (because of the flight of ideas in his/her head).
Your job however is to empathize on the person you’re dealing with. If you think they’re supporters, then don’t break their heart. If they’re controllers, then don’t waste their time and go straight to the facts. Promoters? Enjoy the time with them. Analyst, show them data or facts and you’ll get along.
The thing is you should appreciate that each person is unique and you no longer blame their actions. This skill is hard to apply at first, but you'll eventually get used to it over time. The results however are tremendous!
Furthermore, it is said that a true leader knows how to deal all the personality types. You also can be that kind of person.
Come to think of it, a leader is a perfect example of a person who truly understands and appreciates people around him/her.
Everyone is Beautiful!
The big question is, how can we give people a chance when we fail to see them as a person? That’s a tricky one, we usually consider people as someone we could make use of – yes, more like an object when in fact it’s not supposed to be that way.
People are people – and they certainly have their worth.
“The true test of men is how he deals with someone of no value to him”
I always believe that we are all connected. I’m not saying that you should have this belief. But I just want you to consider that people always have goodness in them –- no matter how dark or scant it is from their outside.
If you look hard enough, you’d see the beauty within them.
Everyone Deserves a Chance
Lastly, we have no right to give up on people. Everyone deserves a second chance just like others giving you another chance.
Never give up on anyone!
Once you have this kind of mindset, I strongly believe that you will truly understand and appreciate people.
What are you waiting for? Spread the love! “Better late than never!”
P.S. Can you really avoid conflicts? Just “think before you act.”
(If you haven’t yet, do like the Facebook page for more inspiration!)