10 Things To Look For In A Partner

I’m going to put my love guru hat today and share some thoughts on relationship. For singles or even for people in a relationship, you may have your own standards on what to look for in a partner. As a single guy for a year and a half now, I’m starting to wonder if I’m setting too high of a standard for a woman (or if I even deserve to look for high standards to begin with). It got me into thinking on the qualities that I'm looking for in a partner.

I’m going to share this to you and hopefully you keep an open mind to it. Of course feel free to react in whatever action necessary if I mentioned things that are way off. Also, I consider these things to be applicable in a general sense, so basically I think it applies to both girls and boys out there. Here we go.

1. Has a good sense of humor or at least keep up a conversation

Yes, they’re pretty and all, but if you can’t spend an hour with her because it gets too boring, then that’s a big “do not enter” sign there. The partner should at least have a good sense of humor or knows how to keep a conversation going. Of course, you play a major role on this for you are the only one to blame if you settle for someone who you know would not understand you talking about quantum physics or aliens watching over us.

2. Has a sense of mystery

Imagine watching a movie but knowing exactly how it ends. It’s like starting something and knowing that it has to fail soon. As a movie critic put it on the recent movie The Lone Ranger starring Johnny Depp, “who would want to watch a predictable film when they know the heroes will win?” I think this goes the same with relationships. We seek people who have a sense of mystery in them. The thrill of not knowing much about the other person is what gets us attracted. The best way to go around it, perhaps, is to not be too predictable.

3. Non-clingy

Having a clingy partner is pleasurable when the whole relationship thing has just started. But unfortunately, it is not too nice when they overdo it for the first four weeks, without fail. Being too clingy is the perfect fire extinguisher. It shows that you’re needy and you need someone's attention to survive. It also tells that you can’t start something fun on your own. I think a great recipe to enjoy a relationship is that you are both free to do both your own thing and meet halfway.

4. Does his or her own thing

Yes I somehow mentioned this already, but I’m adding it again because it is very important. A prospect partner should have something that he or she cares about. They should have at least a job that they care for (and not only complain about), they should have some goals or aspirations, and, of course, they’re at least trying to improve in one way or another.

Swag and beauty won’t last, you haven’t heard? It’s all over the net.

5. Shares the budget

We live in a liberated and modern world now where both men and women alike are able to take care of their finances. Don’t expect the guy to pay all the bills. But yeah, guys have the tendency to pay for stuff. But when you start to let your partner pay for mundane, unnecessary costs, then it goes downhill from there.

6. Thinks he or she is good looking

I don’t know, but I think this is a good ingredient to add in the mix. The partner should have at least a decent self-esteem especially when you’re hanging out together. Who would want to go out and date someone who’s not even comfortable under their skin? It would just make the both of you feel awkward.

Don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to be super pretty or sexy to feel this way, what matters is how you look at yourself and what your partner thinks about you, which should of course coincide. How on earth would they date you if you’re not, right?

7. Well groomed

It’s disrespectful to show up unkempt. Worse if you’re stinking.

8. One who plays it cool

Let’s face it. We’re living in a time where everyone changes partner like a pair of clothes. Expecting too much from your partner is actually risking too much. I mean, each should just play cool. Anyhow, you would be partners for long if the odds continue to be on both your side. Just play it cool.

9. One who loves genuinely

This might seem contrasting from number 8 but actually it has a big point. When in a relationship or when you already think you have found someone worth your time, I think they deserve all the love you can give. Not a love that is out of self-sacrifice but, instead, an enjoyable love.

Put it like loving a dog, loving without expecting them to really give all their love back-- you just love them for being them. I do believe that nothing is forever-made so why not spend each moment genuinely in love and enjoy every bit of the time in the relationship while it lasts?

10. Someone you can grow with

What you really want in a partner is someone you can grow with, and you only get that from someone who has a positive outlook not just in your relationship but also in life.

Maybe it’s just me, but people don’t have this characteristic these days. A lot seem to try to get a partner and be in a relationship not because they have something to offer but because they can’t just bear being alone in the world with everyone posting their “dinner date pictures” on Facebook looking sweet and all.

Try to think out of the box. Loving is loving per se. It’s an action that one ought to give, a positive energy ought to be shared, and something that is supposed to be a blessing. I think I should end with this.

What do you think? Can you add more things to look in a partner? Share your thoughts below. Also, don’t forget to subscribe on the right to not miss any post from this blog on your email. Interested in stock market? Read about the stock market blog series.

(Photo credit to Kevin Jethro Abad Photography)

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Why We Easily Spend Money?

This post is not for everyone. I mean if you already know how to manage your money and really save up, then kudos to you for doing a great job!  But for the rest of us who don’t seem to value money to an extent, or to those who don’t get why they are always broke and looking earnestly for the next pay day, then we might consider that we have a spending issue, which is the matter I wish to tackle in this post.

Money, as what I mentioned on a previous post, is a fickle thing. It disappears easily. We may ask the following: Why is that we lose money so easily? Why does it seem that we have no control of money? Instead, it’s the other way around that which money controls us. By asking these questions, we somehow see that money is alive. It may sound absurd but if money has a power to control us and is able to spends itself on its own, then it got to be alive.

To ponder on money as sort of a living thing is, rather, a grave matter. Imagine being controlled and always at the mercy of money. It’s like having a new set of parents dictating our every move. The point is this should not be the case. We should reconsider our concept of money.

The better concept(s) of Money

The concept of money is one we usually fail to consider. It is not just money for money’s sake. As you add value and meaning to money, you will gradually see it as something alive, and thus, it is one you can befriend or make an enemy with. Let me remind you that money as an enemy could overrule you once you give in, and it’s a type of ruler that has the power to enslave your time and needs.

So how can we befriend money and try to manage it? I may not be an expert or anything, and to be honest, I am quite amateur on this concept of money as well; however, with my years of research and discoveries, I have reached understandings that might be of real value, or if not, are still considered worthy of thoughts.

First is, money is everywhere

I remembered telling a friend that money is one of the most abundant resources today. I don’t exactly know what I meant at that time, but I solely based it on the fact that almost every single thing in this world already has a corresponding value. As you think of it, you can give a price of anything that you have right now, which includes your clothes, your computer, your house, your gadgets, and sometimes, even our selves. People seem to price everything. Viewing it in a positive light, money is certainly everywhere, and by that, it is quite abundant.

Money is hidden in each one's pockets

I also keep an idea that money is just in the pockets of people. If you stand in a crowd and ask them to lend or give you money (say 10 pesos) for a reasonable cause, I think most, if not everyone, of them have the amount and are willing to offer it.

This leads us to two points. First, people are actually willing to offer the money to you, especially if they like you or they think you are worthy of it. Second, scale this scenario up to a thousand or even millions of people and suddenly the “ten pesos” won’t be the tiny little penny you thought it was - you now accumulated thousands or even millions.

These two concepts, that money is abundant and people are willing to offer you money if you just do something that makes them to, unlocks a secret - the secret of managing, or even, making money.

The many ways to make money

There’s a lot of ways to obtain money from somebody else’s pocket. It could be in a form of investment. You should know that you could obtain money from companies, like what others do in stocks or Mutual Funds. It could also be in a form of business, like creating something that generates money such as selling goods, offering services and so on. Of course, there are many more ways, and it’s basically up to you if you want to make more money.

With these concepts, it won’t take long for you to develop an attitude that enables you to manage money and prevent it from controlling your life (I really hope it does). Money should stay at its rightful place, which is to kneel at your mercy and disposal.

I know that these thoughts of money might be too ideal or hard to imagine, but I don’t expect you to grasp everything, even I don’t grasp it, well, not that much yet. But at least, we somehow tried to think of the possibilities and thus (which I strongly believe) make us better in handling money.

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Why Is It Important To Learn Many Things?

If you have all the time in the world, what new skills would you develop? In this world of ours, we have the opportunity to learn many things with the arguably short time allotted to us.

I always wonder how some people amass so many talents and skills in their life that it seems impossible with their age or their given time. Why is this when we have the same number of hours a day as the rest of the people in the world? Do they have special powers and all? (I definitely know that they don’t)

So I did a bit of research in regards to this. And first thing that comes to mind was to surround myself with people, mostly of my age, who fall under the category. There’s this one guy who knows how to play the guitar, sings, does video animation, also draw, and not to mention that he’s good at it. Another friend also has a good skill in writing, reading, has good philosophical views and works a rigid regular nurse shift. You might have a person in mind right now who is so talented or has so many skills, which you somehow envy.

As you consider them, we easily think that, ‘Hey I could do that too and devote time for those, if only I have more time,’ right? But let’s focus on the successful mature guys who are now running their businesses, being wealthy, and very much living the life. You can see that they're having those while being a family man, knowing how to cook, writing novels, speaking in public, helping and inspiring others at the same time. You can think of a lot of successful people who already are masters of their leagues yet still continue to flourish on other areas or aspects of life. I mean, how come Jordan be able to be a legend in basketball, and also be good at golf or baseball?

As I study these people, I saw a pattern. What I learned are that these guys have a strong desire to learn and improve their selves. I told myself, these are the ones that I want to follow. I mean, why not?

There’s definitely dozens of reasons why we should be like them. Among others, people with definite type of skills are more useful than those who have limited or no skills. Say for instance, you don't know how to drive, and a situation calls for it. How can you help a stranded group with a car but no one to drive? As you can see, those people who have the skills tend to be of more value for they are the ones who can actually offer something to society.

I don’t think it’s selfish or unfair at all. It’s a given that when you are of more value, people seek you, and in line with that, you can offer more help that leads to significant results in their lives. I don’t know about you, but I think this is a very grave matter to consider.

To learn many things, one essential recipe is to form a sort of “learning” habits. Forming habits requires time, not to mention consistency.  Say if you want to learn ju-jitsu, then you have to set aside time of the week and be consistent about it. In addition, successful people don’t neglect the skills and talents they already have and continue to use them on a regular basis (most of times, be in an environment that naturally enables them do so).

Of course, I don’t think the guys I’m talking about here procrastinate. Instead, they value their time more than anything in the world. I heard they’re good at saying 'No' - that’s going to be hard on my part.

Anyhow, I read somewhere that it takes 10,000 hours for one to be a master of something. This is an interesting study, which leads us to a conclusion that we just have to focus 8 hours a day for three and a half years to become a master.

Well, what do you know? We got ourselves a formula already. The point here is not to be masters of everything, but just to be good at some things, especially things that matter to you. Furthermore, it proves that there’s no reason that we can’t learn many things or eventually be good at them. Of course, as we value and manage our time, then there’s no stopping on what our potentials might be.

I don’t entirely believe the concept of “jack-of-all-trades master of none.” I think most part of it is a lie, and it only impedes people from trying. How can one be so sure that what your skills or education you have now are the right ones, when you haven’t really opened up to “a chunk” of the infinite things to learn out there? It does make sense. Openness to learn new things unconsciously molds us to what we want to become.

So I wish for you, in fact for everyone, to learn many more things in life and to be really someone of great value. Yes you are certainly valuable right now, but if there’s one thing that continuously grows, it’s definitely the room for improvement.


What are your views? Are you more inclined to learn new things now? Or would you rather let the world pass by? Share your thoughts below.

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Random Acts Of Kindness, Senseless Acts Of Beauty

“Random acts of kindness, senseless acts of beauty” has been one of the alluring concepts I’ve encountered in this life. I would like to share how this concept might change your life in little ways.

But first, we should understand the reason behind kindness. The word itself lets me imagine opening a box of questions. Questions like: What is kindness, really? Does the world deserve kindness? Do people really return favors? Do we do something beautiful even nobody notices it? These and so on…

I’ll be honest, I considered myself as a selfish person. It seems that being selfish is my second nature. I want to grab all the attention, I want to win so badly, I try to be right so hard that I don’t mind what people feel. This is pretty much the story of my life well, for a while. I’m very much hopeful that one day I’ll totally liberate myself from that image.

Here’s the thing, after a few seminars and books, I realize that there’s no point in being selfish. We live in a world shared by everybody. No one can really be at the top. No one could really win all the time. Once we think selfishly and pursue our selfish desires, everything becomes more like a pursuit to nothing. Selfishness leads to emptiness.

On the other hand, I realized that kindness is one aspect that solves a lot of problems for human race. A few benefits you might have thought are reconciliation, courtesy, and prevention of conflicts. But there are actually more.

Kindness to others can actually cure depression, a study show. Kindness to ourselves helps us cope and become a better person. Kindness to the world, somehow (sometimes in ways that we don’t see) returns kindness to our lives as well. This is something really important.

Kindness is beauty in every aspect

Genuine kindness is one that we do good things and not think of any reward.  If you ever tried giving without asking anything in return then you may have experienced the miracle of kindness.

Now this concept of random acts of kindness, senseless acts of beauty is a practical method that helps everyone become a better person. I’m not saying it’s rocket science, but I do believe that a few episodes of random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty makes people feel that they are a part of something - a communion of contribution.

How it works?

One can do random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty just by doing things out of the blue. Paying a fair for and old person or a blind person is one. It could be hugging your mom before going out or as a surprise first thing in the morning. It could even be treating someone for lunch just because you’re happy that he/she is part of your life.

I don’t aim to change the world. My voice wouldn’t be loud enough anyway. But I do know that I can help one or two people in a week or perhaps even just one person in a month. It might not matter to me, it might not even matter to you, but it could mean the world to that one person.

From what I understand, we should never stop believing in the goodness of people and of the world in general. Sharing and being kind just to let others know they matter is one of the best things we can offer to this world.  I’m starting to believe this is one of the reasons why we’re here to begin with.

Anyhow, what are your random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty that you made recently or that you think you might be able to do? Share it in the comments below.

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What You Create Today Matters Tomorrow

I checked my stock market portfolio on COL and I've realized that it's almost a year that I've subscribed to Bo's  "Truly Rich Club". I'm glad to see that the shares' value were sloping upward and with no detriments. It's going as planned. However, what I realize too is I haven't given much thought about the whole stock market thing at all. I just place passive money and trade as advised. I was not that excited at all. But yesterday, after seeing the big picture created after several months, something came out... a surge of ideas came flying out, which got me excited, even avaricious. It's just amazing how you learn a lot from things you started from before.

In another instance, I chanced upon my old scrapbook created in 2006 I believe. It was not a scrapbook I deliberately made for myself. Rather it was a project our teacher suggested for us to pass Philosophy of Man back in college. The whole project is kind of unique because it is a scrapbook intended for people to read when you're already dead. It came to be a collection of thoughts and beliefs at that time and how you could have said goodbye to people or to this world. I realized I changed a lot since then. Though there's no big gap from my thinking process before and now, I couldn't help but be amazed on how mature my views were. It's as if looking at a window and seeing my old self but with very different taste and strong views that I'm not even certain if I still hold true at this moment. I realize that this creation of mine helped me perceive a lot of things for it reflects what I've done or reached at that certain time. Also, how my perceptions of the world were and how I've loved so far. Just today, I reconsidered probably creating another one, perhaps make it a project for each decade.

There are many instances like these that I bump upon something I created that made joyful consciousness of the present. For me it could be old songs, poems, write ups that my older self created. Viewing such context as a whole, I figured that it's delightful living in the now with all those reminiscent possessions at one's disposal. It reminds us that what we create today matters tomorrow. Perhaps I'd create anything today, could be covering the guitar of a song and posting it on YouTube. It could probably be something random that I haven't done before (paint?). Anything that is tangible or viewable in the future. I am convinced that these creations become tiny gems on the coming numbered days. I'm hopeful to create something big though - a game changer that becomes a pivot in my life. I just feel it's coming and it's worth to be excited.  I wonder how I'd reflect on that when the time comes. Life is worth to be excited for.


One of my mini creations.

If you want to venture into Philippines Stock Market, then you might want to check this out.

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The Importance Of Developing One's Self

I once had a fear of failure – always afraid to start or pursue anything. In line with that, I also thought that there is nothing worth achieving, since what rises only falls or what lives will always die. However, this is such a depressing state of mind. The more you think of it, the more it burrows obscurity in you, leaving you emptied and exhausted. I learned that developing one’s self is a brighter way. It is the path to achieve many great things and a means to abandon the pessimistic thought of nothing is worth achieving. I realized that it was the voice of fear that was whispering to me telling me that everything is small and futile, when in fact, there are so many things to achieve, to reach, and so many wonderful views to see. I further realized that giving in to fear hinders anyone from self-actualization and their pursuit of happiness.

So why do people choose not to develop their self? Or why do they stop? Or do they really? Am I just misjudging them? Or myself? I do know that in one point or another we strive to grow and develop to something higher. It’s probably innate in us as humans. But sometimes, we have this shield of giving up and just rest with mediocrity. Do we just allow this and condemn ourselves? I would say not. 

How do we cultivate self-growth?

Developing one’s self may seem easy but it is not quite. As the famous philosopher quote, “the greatest journey is the journey to self”. We are treasures and we’re yet to find the map and key to uncover us. I speak of purpose and ideals here, they are in us and it takes a while or even a lifetime to discover them. The important fact is that we walk with such potential and yet many of us don’t know about it. It’s time to uncover the truth that we are far better than anything in this world, and that the answers lay within and not from trivialities. This path of actualization is a long one, but take note that it is an endless one. An irony and it is probably why one should always seek for it to better understand it. We are after all unique, and no one can really give you purpose or the right path except yourself.

It’s a risk. The path to developing self is a risk and it is an option. You may choose to decay and prevent growth, that’s fine. It’s your life after all. However, you should understand that to develop self is not a far dream. There are so many things to developing self and there’s no expert in this.  All I’m saying is that it is important to develop self because there is actually nowhere else to be. We are meant for so much more, we’re meant to grow and denying this fact of life will suck us out of life itself. 

Maybe I'm writing this post for me, to act as a reminder of such strong opinions. How about you, do you think it is important or is there a better way? Enlighten me. 

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