The Importance Of Developing One's Self

I once had a fear of failure – always afraid to start or pursue anything. In line with that, I also thought that there is nothing worth achieving, since what rises only falls or what lives will always die. However, this is such a depressing state of mind. The more you think of it, the more it burrows obscurity in you, leaving you emptied and exhausted. I learned that developing one’s self is a brighter way. It is the path to achieve many great things and a means to abandon the pessimistic thought of nothing is worth achieving. I realized that it was the voice of fear that was whispering to me telling me that everything is small and futile, when in fact, there are so many things to achieve, to reach, and so many wonderful views to see. I further realized that giving in to fear hinders anyone from self-actualization and their pursuit of happiness.

So why do people choose not to develop their self? Or why do they stop? Or do they really? Am I just misjudging them? Or myself? I do know that in one point or another we strive to grow and develop to something higher. It’s probably innate in us as humans. But sometimes, we have this shield of giving up and just rest with mediocrity. Do we just allow this and condemn ourselves? I would say not. 

How do we cultivate self-growth?

Developing one’s self may seem easy but it is not quite. As the famous philosopher quote, “the greatest journey is the journey to self”. We are treasures and we’re yet to find the map and key to uncover us. I speak of purpose and ideals here, they are in us and it takes a while or even a lifetime to discover them. The important fact is that we walk with such potential and yet many of us don’t know about it. It’s time to uncover the truth that we are far better than anything in this world, and that the answers lay within and not from trivialities. This path of actualization is a long one, but take note that it is an endless one. An irony and it is probably why one should always seek for it to better understand it. We are after all unique, and no one can really give you purpose or the right path except yourself.

It’s a risk. The path to developing self is a risk and it is an option. You may choose to decay and prevent growth, that’s fine. It’s your life after all. However, you should understand that to develop self is not a far dream. There are so many things to developing self and there’s no expert in this.  All I’m saying is that it is important to develop self because there is actually nowhere else to be. We are meant for so much more, we’re meant to grow and denying this fact of life will suck us out of life itself. 

Maybe I'm writing this post for me, to act as a reminder of such strong opinions. How about you, do you think it is important or is there a better way? Enlighten me. 

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Let Go Or Hold On

Have you wondered about when to let go and also when not to? There should be some sort of line there separating those two course of actions. But a thing that I discovered is that you can actually keep on going on and not giving up as long as you want, even if it's all against the odds. And apparently, you may also move on and let go as easily and as early as you can. You are the captain of the ship and you'll be surprised on how swift it is to make a decision.

But how do we know if it's a let go or a hold on? How do we know if we reached the line, when you can just make a decision as quick and as effortless? Well, there should be some factors to consider here and it'd be best to examine both.

On holding on

One thing I learned in this life is to not give up on the people you love. No matter how bad they do, if they truly are someone you love, then it won't matter. You have to trust them and hold on to them. You may call it unconditional love or just by truly seeking the goodness in them for you know they have it. In fact, we should find the goodness in all people. We can always find the goodness in each one, it's just a matter of time to find it if you truly consider it in them.

Anyhow, the point here is that you can always choose to hold on and if ever you want to hold on and never give up, might as well do it with the people you truly love. You don't have to give up on them, you can always hold on to them and love them. This may seem counterintuitive but it is valid and it can be a fruitful and meaningful decision. Some great people never give up.

Letting go

Another thing I learned in life is that to let go on things you have no control of. Basically, this could be others' decision to stay and to love you, you technically have no control of those. You'll be amazed that letting go and moving on can be an easy thing as long as you realize that many things are out of your control and holding on to those things will only disappoint you and suck you off your energy. You don't actually need anyone else in your life but you. This means that you can always let go of anything and still manage to survive. Some great people are masters of letting go.

As you can see, this quite contradicts to what I discussed about holding on earlier and in fact this is quite confusing, even baffling. For, how can you hold on, when you know some aspects of people are not of your control? And how can you easily let go, when they were ones the people you loved?

There could be something here, given those points above, we can see that both could be of the same essence. What possibly my point is that, letting go doesn't really mean that you're giving up while holding on doesn't really mean you've surrendered. It's tricky really, but if you let go, you trust the person to learn on his own, thus never giving up on him/her. While if you hold on, you surrendered something in you, to keep you on track. See there is a combination, an enchanting influence or connection of both. When you truly choose to one decision and live by it, you actually pursue and realize both. So you just have to pick one, depending on what you really want and just live by it.

For me, there's no wrong choice so no need to worry. Instead, the source of frustration likely comes from us not being strong enough to keep up to the decision and firmly hold on to it. This is where the depression comes, the pain and all those negative stuff. Hesitation and indecision sucks big time. However, if we discovered that it's all about how we do it, how we keep up to our decision and preserve our values for it, then we truly make a decision and truly let go and move on or hold on and not give up.

So have you figured out the thin line? I guess there's no thin line after all.

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Pursuing Anything

There is a risk for dreaming anything. You should know dreaming, akin to complaining presents a call to action. It may seem vague, but once you realize that you need to get from point a to b, you are compelled to act upon it. Complaining in a way is mentioning a desire. It's just that you notice the undesired - such as complaining about your car, makes you feel obliged to do something about it, say buying a new one. See when you complain and not act on it you inadvertently begin to be insane or stupid, as Einstein said in his famous quote, "Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". As rational being, and humans as we are, we have the capability to do something about our situation. We have the power to make things happen.

When you dream you actually thought of the desired. We always think about the desired all the time, I mean I know a lot of people, including me, who spend my hours daydreaming of what if's and what could's. It's easy to dream, but you should know that dreaming itself is already a bold thing. You're actually telling yourself something to act upon, and this directly puts you in a choice - to do it or to drop it. Because it makes you insane. But why do people tend to stay insane? They continuously think about their dreams and yet not do anything. Well, there are several factors about it, but there's this one thing that surface out the most.

It's the thinking that we don't have the necessary things to achieve our goals. This stops most people. When we dream we always think about the obstacles and we then reason out that they're too big and we just have to give in to them. But let me tell you something, you have everything you need right now to achieve anything you want. Call it God, or the universe, but if you truly desire anything it will be provided to you, everything you ever need. 

Not convinced? Here is another point that may help, our dreams are actually valid dreams. We're beings that think of possible scenarios and they are genuinely possible because you conceived it. We only imagine things that are possible as it relates to our experience, lessons, the life we have so far, and so on. This means that we don't really dream of something of which we can't imagine. As you view it this way, you'll understand that everything is laid out. You just have to grab the tangible dream and act on it, which is by the way the challenging part. (that calls for another topic about discipline and consistency.)

In addition to my point, most of our dreams or aspirations today of what we can be or what we want to have, are already a copy of someone else's. Someone has already achieved it, say being rich, of course someone has achieved that. Bear in mind that if anyone could do it, you could do it as well. People  should ponder on this more often.

Now, there are a few who actually deviate of the norm, those who create something out of nothing. We call them crazy or naive. Indeed they are, and as history shows us, crazy or naive people are stupid enough to do the things that no one has reached before. And they do. It's a good thing to be crazy, to risk everything and dive in. It's different from insanity. It's a liberating act that skyrockets lessons in which you can apply to reaching the unreachable. 

Is it worth anything? This is a very strong question for me. Sometimes we may think that doing something or not doing anything at all are both the same. Indeed they are, in this life, you have a choice and pretty much it won't matter. You can be happy with any situation or circumstances but happiness is not permanent nor thus sadness. Success is not permanent and stability is a lie. Therefore, we are bound to move and grow. It's just life and that's just what it means living here in this world. This is a truth that may not be a truth for you now, but don't worry, everything and everyone has their own path, their lessons. The beauty of diversity, as this post seemingly be. My mind is diverse like that, and I have to end this to this.

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